Sunday, January 26, 2014

No really, how are you?

It's been 2 weeks since we got back from Eastern Europe and meeting Nate.  Every day, for 2 weeks, I have carved out a part of my day to sit and reflect on our sweet Nate.  I watch the videos over and over.  Look at his sweet face.  Listen to his laugh.  And find joy in a child that is ours, but yet, that I barely know.  Since our return, we have had so much encouragement.  And the question I have heard several times over the past few days is, "how are you?  No.  Really.  How are you handling being away from him?"   I am not going to say it has been easy.  But, I will answer in complete honesty.  I told you all when we left him at the orphanage, I was filled with peace.  That was soon replaced by anger.  I questioned why we had to leave him.  What was the purpose.  Why in the world does it take so long.  But, no matter how much I wanted to be upset or mad, or angry, I just couldn't for long. For the first time in my life, I am completely at peace.  In everything.  I have absolutely no doubt that GOD is in control here.  I have no doubt that HE is protecting and watching over our sweet Nate.  I have no doubt that HIS timing is perfect.  I have no doubt that Nate is being cared for as best possible now.  I just have no doubt.  I have peace.  Peace that "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Ecclesiastes 3:11.  I want you to know that we appreciate your prayers more than anything.  For it is your prayers that have gotten us where we are.  I do not think for a moment that the old Jenny would not have been a basketcase at this point.  But, I am filled up with the Spirit, which gives me hope, joy, and peace during our situation.  So, while we are beyond ready, we will REST knowing that God's timing is perfect.  I was telling a friend today that my fear is gone.  I have no fear in bringing Nate home.  I have struggled with this on and off during this whole process.  Yet, again, peace of trusting in God through the unknown has taken over and pushed aside all fears.  Yes, we know there will be struggles in raising a child like Nate.  A child that has spent almost 3 years in an orphanage.  A child with Down Syndrome.  A child that has not had a mommy and daddy to love him and snuggle him.  But, we have peace in knowing that God will give us the strength to parent a child like Nate. 

As far as the process, all of our documents should head to his country at the end of this week.  At that point, we just have to wait on our FBI background check to come back and send over.  Then, the waiting game begins.  Please join us in praying for speediness during that process.  Our home study will expire on May 21st.  We really need to have him home before then to avoid more payments for an update, not to mention the headache involved in having to do that again. 

We would love for you to continue praying for us.  And of course for Nate.  I pray daily for his caregivers.  That they would continue to find favor in him.  That he would feel loved and know that he is loved and valuable.  For Jack and Chandler as they prepare to have another sibling.  For Clay and I as we prepare our home and our hearts for another child.  And, for continued peace. 

1 comment:

  1. You KNOW I am praying for you! :) And, in case I haven't mentioned in lately, I cannot WAIT to meet him! Soon, soon!!!