One Year. Yep. One year ago this weekend, Clay and I decided to answer God's call to adopt. Obviously, the topic of adoption was something that God started stirring in each one of our hearts at a young age. And, for me, I have had a draw to Down Syndrome individuals for as long as I can remember. But, the sequence of events that occurred the first weekend of November 2012, brought all those pieces together. It was Saturday night, and I was reading my friend's (who at that time I had never met in person) blog. Misty was advocating for a sweet little DS boy who lived in Russia. He was on the Reece's Rainbow website and she was his "Angel Tree Warrior" - something RR does every Nov/Dec to advocate for their orphans. I read her blog. I cried. I worked up the courage to show it to Clay. He liked it, but didn't really say much. We went to bed. The next morning, unbeknownst to us, was Orphan Sunday at church. We sat down, they showed us a video, and I lost it. I knew, Clay knew....as I have told you before, it was then that we knew it was time to answer God's call for our lives. To push aside our fears and step out in faith. Something that we had never done before. So, here we are, one year later. If you have followed this blog, you have followed us on this journey so far. We first saw Nate's 5 month old baby picture on February 14th and officially committed to him (aka paid our first huge amount of money - so scary at the time!) 1 month later in March. Fast forward to this week, one year after we answered God's call: we got the best news we have heard since this process started. Our dossier was approved!! We received our verbal referral! We are waiting on the legal issues now of a written referral (should be about 3 weeks) and with that will come our travel dates. Yes. You read that right!! TRAVEL DATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We should be meeting him late November/early December. That is this month, y'all!!!
My mind is spinning when I think about meeting him for the first time. I guess it's like when I was pregnant with Jack and Chandler. I would day dream about what they would look like, how we would bond, their little personalities. And, then, fear would set in. So. Pretty much the same here. I daydream often about Nate. What does he look like now? Will he look like the pictures we have? Will he come to us immediately? Will he look us in the eye? Will he be able to walk? Or eat regular food? SO many questions. And, I will be able to answer them before the end of this year! But, then fear sets in. This is for real! We will have 3 children soon. One of them with special needs! Can we handle this? And, I am quickly reminded of some advice that a man gave me at the very first information meeting I went to about adoption last November....."Fear is NOT from the LORD." And then all these other sayings come to mind: "God does not call the equipped, HE equips the called." HE EQUIPS THE CALLED. Yes. HE will be the only way we get through this. He will supply us the patience, energy, love, grace, joy, understanding, forgiveness....that we need to be parents to Nate. We can do this. And we will. Because, if we do not, our sweet little Nathaniel Luke will become another statistic. Another child that dies in a mental institution. Sorry for my bluntness, but that is a fact guys. He will die if we do not go get him. So, when I am being selfish and all about ME, I am reminded that God asks us to die to ourselves so that we can LIVE FOR HIM. There are like 50 verses in the Bible talking about this. For real. Google it. "Dying to Self in the Bible"......just do it...google that little phrase and see what pops up. And then my eyes are opened. Fear disappears. And, I know that we can do this. :)
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